Some times I find myself unable to sleep at night. One burning question replays over and over. One night I think I know the answer. I fall asleep almost 100 per cent certain and then morning breaks hours later and yet again I have changed my mind.
Other people in my position would begin counting sheep, trying to get the debate out of their mind. However, I cannot do that. This issue is too important to me. It will affect my children, my children's children and so on and so forth. This issue is not going away any time soon and those brave enough to pick a side will always be divided. This is big business.
The issue you ask? Whether Sex and the City protagonist Carrie Bradshaw should have ended up with Big or Aidan.
Aidan Shaw, Carrie Bradshaw and John James Preston
Photo: Scott Ryan Productions
Truly I am sorry for even bringing it up, but remaining silent is haunting me. You have my permission, if this is too much, please exit and come back when you're ready. I hope I have given you enough warning. But, you know, sometimes you just have to talk about the giant elephant taking up 3/4 of the room. I hope you'll be able to see both sides of the debate.
Big. Love him or hate him, John James Preston leaves a mighty big impact. He was there in the beginning, he resurfaced in the middle and at the end, and well he got the girl didn't he?
Yet, there are a lot of things that don't sit right with the women of the world (read: particularly this woman).
Every time Big appeared in Carrie's life he literally never stops hurting her. One minute he isn't ready for a serious relationship, the next minute he is magically back in town with a new girlfriend on his arm. Spawning one of the greatest quotes from Carrie: "Twenty-something girls are fabulous... until you see one with the man who broke your heart."
Big once again showing up to cause a stir in Carrie's life
Photo: New Episodes
Doesn't your heart break for Carrie when she sees Natasha and Big together? Be it in her columns, in voice overs or in conversations with the best gal pals who ever lived- Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte- we know Carrie is searching for love in the Big Apple. She is looking for that big, all consuming, life altering, sweep you off your feet love and, in the beginning, we think she has found it with the mysterious Mr Big. Until, it all proves too much for our handsome male lead.
Alas, everyone deals with heart break and you can kind of accept Big's decision to marry Natasha, that is until he strikes up an extramarital affair with Carrie. Has she not suffered enough? Scratch that, have we not suffered enough heartbreak?
There is only so much you can forgive Big for before you realise he is just an immature ass who couldn't make a decision to save himself.
BUT THEN in the last season of the television series we see Big is half the man he used to be without Carrie. Finally the big man has been hit over the head, allowing him to finally realise that Carrie Bradshaw and all her drama and baggage, is the one for him. Cue Miranda telling him to "go get our girl..." from Paris.
"Carrie, you're the one." Big finally fighting for his girl.
Photo: Entertainment Weekly
When Big arrives in Paris the collective fandom of Sex and the City swoons. He has not only realised, but also confessed his love for Carrie. She finally gets her big love with John.
Just when I think I can hop on the team Big bandwagon, Sex and the City the Movie is released and surprise, Big makes a fool of himself again. Now, there are a lot of things I can forgive, but getting cold feet and leaving a woman you have already hurt numerous times on the day of your wedding is something that makes my blood boil.
When Carrie was beating him with the bouquet of flowers on the street I was right there with her. The embarrassment. The shame. Had this man simply not had enough of making her into a public joke?
Carrie, looking quirky and blindsided by the return of Big... with Natasha
Photo: Television of Yore
The beautiful dress, the perfect venue all ruined. Except it is all ok because Big has written a string of heart felt emails explaining that yep, he's done it again, but Carrie will always have a piece of his heart.
Now, reading this alone one would think that Carrie doesn't deserve to be treated like this. In fact, no one does. Heart break is cruel and rough to get through and based on the amount of times Carrie had to face life without Big, she deserves a medal.
But hold it right there, this is not the end. It is through her treatment of the eighth wonder of the world, Aidan Shaw that we realise, Carrie and Big deserve each other.
Man of the year Aidan Shaw
Photo: Cosmopolitan
Aidan is the boyfriend every girl dreams about. All every girl wants in a man is for him to be kind, generous, loving, emotional, good looking and selfless. Aidan Shaw is a teenage dream come to life, someone most girls would be lucky to find. Except Carrie chews him up and spits him out, never fully appreciating the make of the man.
Carrie reached the fabled promise land and she never even enjoyed it. She cheated on Aidan repeatedly, broke off an engagement and turned cold on the warmest of men. How could she do this to man that cried for her?
Every girl wants her own Aidan, something I can assure you of.
The stark difference between the way Big and Aidan loved Carrie clearly pointed to who the better man was, no question. Whenever Aidan left the show for a string of episodes die hard fans would gather outside the offices of HBO staging peaceful protests to bring him back. We all loved Aidan, we were all rooting for him. Except for Carrie it seems.
Two of the best things in life, a puppy dog and Aidan
Photo: Pinterest
When put into perspective it makes so much sense who Carrie should be with. As much as he has broken her heart, the heart doesn't discriminate. Big is the one for Carrie, they deserved each other. Because, on a different level, Carrie treated Aidan exactly the same way that Big treated her.
At the end of the day I am truly happy for Carrie that she found her 'big love'. It warms my heart every time I see her opening the last love letter from Big in her email inbox. I know what is coming but the fact that there is still the possibility for them to end up together makes me teary.
The Carrie, Big, Aidan dilemma reminds me of Gilmore girls. Dean was the most perfect boyfriend, but he just wasn't right for Rory no matter how much you wanted them to fit, it was always Jess for the youngest Gilmore girl. Aidan is the ideal boyfriend, but he just wasn't 'the one' for big city Carrie who loved fashion, nights out, the city and her friends.
Breaking up with Aidan ... for the second time ... is hard to do
Photo: Huffington Post
Big is the one for Carrie at the end of the day. I have finally found the answer to a question that has haunted me for years. Yet, I can't explain this feeling in my chest. Well, I believe after all that I must still be feeling torn between the two men.
The only thing a super fan can find solace in is the fact that no one ends up alone. Aidan has his family and Big and Carrie make their marriage work.
It is some of life's hardest lessons played out on the television screen. Nice guys sometimes finish last and the heart wants what it wants, no matter how it may hurt you.
Nicely played Mr Big but I know who I would choose in a heart beat. I would much rather a hand crafted love seat than a trip to the emergency room with my lover's wife any day (and please let us never forget Natasha breaking her tooth while pursuing Carrie down the stairs).
The hardest thing about this long running debate is that you can employ all of the logic in the world, but in terms of the heart, logic plays no part. There will never be a perfect, concrete answer to this question, it will always just come down to personal preference.
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